Are you breathing or hyperventilating?

As most of you know, I have been away for the past four days at the Wilderness Festival in Oxfordshire, England.

It has been an amazing four days of complete immersion in Nature.

It brought home to me more than ever the importance of self-care, and how it is not just desirable, but ESSENTIAL, to have a relationship with yourself before you can have a relationship with anybody else – especially your partner.

What I enjoyed the most over the past four days was just simply stopping and taking a breath; completely being in the moment, reconnecting with Nature and therefore reconnecting with myself, and not feeling the pressure of having a long list of things to do or tasks to complete every day.

Just taking part in Nature-based activities because I feel like it in the moment – wild water swimming, foraging, and noticing the wonder and magic of nature all around me to the backdrop of arts and crafts, gorgeous music and amazing people.

But having been away for what feels like a lifetime, knowing that work and commitments would be piling up back at home, I really had to resist the temptation this morning to plough straight back in back into my daily routine and ferociously attacking my task list to get things done to make up for my time away.

It really helped me to remember this; after an experience there is always a necessary pause. A void where nothing happens.

Just as when we breathe in, there is a natural pause before we breathe out, and then a natural pause before we start the cycle again. With the four seasons, we have the inhalation which is like the build up of Spring which leads to Summer. Nature holds itself in summer like a pause after the inhalation, before descending through Autumn in the out breath towards Winter, where Nature holds its breath for a couple of months before starting the cycle again.

To breathe without pausing, without the void, is to hyperventilate.

So today I choose to be in that void. To actively pull myself away from my huge task list which will still be there tomorrow. To reflect on my experiences over the weekend, and allow them time to breathe, as though I have just decanted a fine wine.

Doing this enables us to two more balanced within ourselves, just as nature intended. How could this not therefore have a positive impact on the balance of our relationships?

So today I urge you to take some time to just pause, to sit still, and just be.

Your relationship is a lifelong journey together through the wilderness. If you would like me to guide you on your journey, I have a range of courses and coaching packages available. Please get in touch for more information and let me know how I can help you. You can message me through my Facebook Page or email me on

Relationship Coach Logo2x

About the Author:

Leave A Comment