Are you in control?

We all need to feel we’re in control of our own lives, and are free to make our own choices. Having that control taken away from us, being told what we can and can’t do, can be extremely frustrating and stressful.

Unfortunately, there are times in our lives where we feel we are at the mercy of external factors, or other people. Feeling as though we’re not in control can lead us to feeling powerless.

So what’s the relevance of this to your relationship?

Well, sometimes we can have too much need for control. For example, if you lack control in some areas of your life (such as work), you might try to over-compensate by gaining more control in other areas, such as your relationship with your partner, or children. If in a relationship, you expect everything to be done “your way”, this can have a very negative effect on your partner.

Conversely, if you don’t actively take enough control in your relationship, deferring to your partner for important decisions that affect you as a couple, you might start to feel resentful of your partner. Or indeed, they may start to feel resentful of you, if you leave everything up to them, desperate for you to “take the wheel” occasionally.

What’s that magic word?

Balance!

Ask yourself:-

  • Where do you have the greatest need for control in your life?
  • How is that reflected in your relationship?
  • If you feel anxious a lot in your relationship, do you think it’s in some way linked to feeling a lack of control?
  • Are you anxious when you aren’t in compete control?
  • Do you allow your partner to make important decisions, or mistakes?

Being in a relationship means being part of a team, where you work together and delegate responsibility. Sometimes relinquishing control, or asking for a little more control where needed, can redress the balance between you.


If you want to explore this and other important needs in your relationship, why not contact me today for an informal discussion of how I can help you get your relationship needs met once and for all? Simply click on the button below to message me!

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