There are times when, no matter what, we just can’t seem to get through to our partners.
It seems like no matter what we say, they just don’t seem to understand us.
What I’ve noticed time and time again with the hundreds couples I’ve coached, is that when one or both partners don’t seem to be getting through to each-other, they become frustrated because they keep having the same argument, over and over again. They feel stuck.
If that happens with your relationship, the chances are it’s because you’re not getting through to each other, so nothing really gets resolved. You get stuck in the same conflict cycles.
Cycles are a part of Nature – just think about the four seasons, or day and night. But unlike conflict cycles, natural cycles do not get stuck. They are constantly moving and transitioning through each phase of the cycle. Nature is always moving – and when something gets stuck in Nature, it becomes dormant, or stagnant, or dies.
And as part of Nature yourself, when you feel stuck in your relationship with you partner, unable to resolve an issue or move forward, it feels completely un-natural. As you are both part of Nature, your relationship must also keep moving and growing and transforming.
So, how do you break the cycle?
Well, the focus needs to be less about what you say, but how you say it.
If you deliver your message in a way that your partner feels attacked, they will go into defense mode, and won’t be receptive to anything you have to say, even if you feel you’re right or justified. This will only leave you feeling frustrated.
- It’s much better to encourage your partner to empathise with you. This means telling them how you feel, without using blaming language.
- It means taking responsibility for your part in the conflict by using “I” statements rather than “you” statements.
- It means listening to what your partner has to say to you.
- Even if you don’t agree with your partner 100%, look for the grain of truth in what they are saying.
Approaching conflict with respectful communication can make all the difference between stuckness or breakthrough. Which in turn can make the difference between an unhealthy, diminishing relationship and one that thrives and grows and transforms.
If you would like my expert help in moving your relationship through stuckness, and achieving that breakthrough that you long for, then there are lots of ways I can help you!
Two weeks ago I offered free 20 minute Relationship Coaching Discovery Calls for the first 10 people to sign up, and was fully booked up within the first two days! As it was so popular, I’ve decided to run this offer for a second time! This offer is only available to the top 10 people who sign up and places are strictly on a first-come, first-served basis.
So, if you would like to talk to me about how I can help you, avoid disappointment and book your FREE call today by clicking the link below.
Deepening your connection with Nature 🙂