We can all get to a point in our relationships that no matter how hard we try, we just can’t seem to resolve our issues on our own. It can feel incredibly frustrating, and at this point we often turn to experts for help and guidance.
If you have issues in your relationship, and are considering Relationship Coaching, it’s essential that you read this, and consider the following questions before you embark on this journey:-
- Are you both on board? Sometimes, when couples come to see me for Relationship Coaching, it’s obvious when one partner doesn’t want to be there. My experience is that with the correct guidance from a Relationship Coach, those couples who are BOTH committed to the process, and who BOTH want the relationship to work, make it work. It’s that simple. The following quetions are therefore equally important for BOTH of you to consider.
- Are you committed? Relationship Coaching can be a challenging process to go through. You might need to have uncomfortable, open and honest conversations. You might feel nervous or anxious about that. You will have to learn new ways of communicating which don’t at first feel natural for you. You will have to listen more, and talk less. It will take a lot of your time and energy – not just withing the Relationship Coaching sessions, but work and dedication outside of the sessions. You won’t always feel like it. So you have to think about how much you want things to change. How badly do you want this relationship to work? Because your answers to these questions are what’s going to motivate you when things get tough. If you don’t do the work, it won’t work. There are no quick fixes.
- Are you really ready for change? An almost guaranteed outcome of Relationship Coaching is change. And let’s be frank – change is scary. We get so used to the way things have always been in our relationships, that doing things differently goes against the grain. We meet a lot of resistance – from our partners and within ourselves. And if you’re being really honest, there’s often a payoff to putting up with the things you complain about in your partner. Does constantly complaining about your partner’s bad behaviour actually serve to justify your own? If so, what will happen when you start taking responsibility for your own behaviour?
- Are you prepared to take responsibility? Elaborating on my point above, you may have completely legitimate concerns and valid feelings about your partner’s behaviour, which may well be unacceptable. But accepting that you have a role to play in your relationship issues doesn’t negate your concerns and feelings. If you’re honest with yourself, there will be things you’re doing or not doing in your relationship that will be contributing to your problems. Even if that’s allowing your partner to act in certain ways or “get away” with certain behaviours. You cannot expect your partner to take responsibility for their part if you won’t take responsibility for yours. You must lead your partner by example.
- Are you in this for the long-haul? The first time you see a Relationship Coach might be when you’re in a crisis. As a qualified Nurse, I often think of these situations in terms of healing a wound. Relationship Coaching can certainly provide an assessment, diagnosis and treatment plan, and the tools to implement change, to help you through the crisis. But what happens beyond that? As you and your partner start to embark on your relationship journey together, you’ll meet obstacles along the way. Without constant care and attentionsmall bumps in your path can become huge mountains, and then you find yourself in crisis again. Using the skills you will learn in Relationship Coaching every day, even when things are going well, means you can anticipate problems BEFORE they arise. It’s as though you are handed a pair of binoculars and a map, increasing your vision and knowledge of the vast landscape before you. As a Nurse I also believe that prevention is better than a cure.
If you and your partner answered “yes” to ALL the questions above, then you are likely to be ready for Relationship Coaching, and I’d be delighted to hear from you!
Simply contact me by clicking the button below, and enquire about my bespoke Relationship Coaching packages today.
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