Couples: do you really know each other?

I had an amazing encounter with Nature yesterday that I really want to share with you.

I was taking a very early morning walk through the countryside and fields near my house. It was very quiet, and I didn’t see a single other person. The light was gorgeous and I could see the sun rising on the horizon. I was reflecting on how much I love the early mornings for their stillness. I feel I can really experience Nature in a different way and be really present in it, as the day is too new for me to have become distracted by other things. The light of a sunrise is very different, there is a peace and tranquility. I notice the dew on the grass, and the air feels very fresh and new. It’s cooler.

I was also thinking about how Nature constantly shifts and changes, and realised that even if I had taken a walk an hour later, I would have had a different experience of Nature. Which would have been equally lovely, but in a different way.

As I rounded a corner, I noticed that sitting perched on a hay bale, was a red kite. I often see these gorgeous birds of prey circling overhead near my home, and always admire the way the sun catches their red plumage from underneath. But I had never seen one perched before, and it was such a happy experience for me. I stopped and thought about taking photograph, but realised that my photography skills would do the bird no justice at all. Seeing it sitting there, so close to me, both of us just regarding each other, was a moment of connection. I savoured it for all of 2 minutes, before it shifted position, leaned forward, flapped its wings, and flew off, circling the field and crying out it’s shrill call. I smiled to myself when I realised that this was a perfect example of what i had been thinking – if I had taken a walk even 2 minutes earlier, I wouldn’t have connected with this beautiful bird in the same way.

When I encourage couples to make time to reconnect with each other, I usually give tangible tasks for them to complete, or make suggestions for them on how to use that time, as a guide. This might include communication work, taking a walk in Nature, or taking part in a shared activity. Sometimes couples want to work on something specific and I accommodate that too. But what’s really important is that couples make that time a priority, and connect through it in a constructive way, no matter how they use that time. And it needs to be regular. And both partners really need to listen to each other. Notice what is going on for each other. Experience each other.

Every moment you spend with your partner is valuable, and will be different from the moment before it.

How much of your partner are you missing by not making time for them in this way? And how much of you are they missing? As part of Nature, we change throughout the day. Our energy state changes, our mood shifts, our thoughts change and our emotions fluctuate.

It’s impossible – and not desirable – to spend every moment with our partners. But it is entirely possible – and desirable – to make regular, uninterrupted time for each other. And to use that time wisely, to notice and regard each other, admire each other, listen to each other, and learn about each other. To experience the variety and complexity of each-other’s moods, thoughts, emotions and energy states.

Otherwise we are missing out on so much!

So make regular time for each other. Listen to each other, communicate your thoughts and feelings, regardless of whether you have any issues to discuss. Just share something of yourselves with each other.

Get to know each other a little more every day.

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P.S. If you would like my help and guidance to communicate in your relationship in a positive way, click here to download my FREE Communication Guide for Couples. This guide has further tips for effective communication that you can use with your partner RIGHT NOW to enhance your relationship.

P.P.S. Coming soon – If you would personally like my expert support to learn the EXACT techniques and steps to resolve conflict effectively without hurt, anger and frustration, you will soon be able to sign up for my Compassionate Conflict for Couples E-Course. It is going to be incredible value, and the first 10 people who sign up will receive a bonus 1:1 coaching call with me, absolutely FREE! These places will go fast and are strictly on a first-come, first-served basis.

If you would like any further information about this course or want to be notified as soon as it is released, or have anything else that you would like help with, I would be delighted to hear from you. Just PM me on Facebook or sign up for my Newsletter to be notified about this and other exciting news straight away.

I can’t wait to hear from you!

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