Ask yourself that question. Ask your partner the same thing.
What did you discover?
I see so many couples who complain that they don’t have the affection they want in their relationship. The interesting thing, however, is that many couples actually disagree on the amount and quality of affection they think they have in the relationship.
It all comes down to how you demonstrate affection, and also, what you interpret as being affectionate.
For example, speaking in general terms, men demonstrate affection through supportive, helpful acts and shared experiences. Women tend to demonstrate affection through talking and emotional connection. Men also often demonstrate love through sex, and often think it can fix issues. For women, sex needs to take place in the context of an emotionally intimate relationship.
Any mismatches or different ideas about love, affection, and intimacy between the couple can lead to conflict, and feelings of lack of affection.
Take the following conversation, that a couple had whilst in one of my Relationship Coaching sessions: –
“How can we be intimate if we haven’t had sex for months?” – Daniel.*
“How can we have sex if there’s no intimacy?” – Sarah.*
Disagreeing on what needs to be in place before affection and intimacy is possible in the relationship can lead to a chicken and egg scenario, which is helpful to neither of you.
The truth is, we’re naturally built to connect with each other. It’s Nature’s way of ensuring of survival. It’s a really basic human need and yet an essential one.
So if you find that both you and your partner feel that affection is missing in your relationship, take some time to decide and agree upon what affection means to each of you. Acknowledge that even though you may have different ideas, each of your perspectives and needs are equally valid.
And then agree to find ways to make that happen.
If you’re struggling with the intimacy and affection in your relationship, and can’t find a way of resolving this on your own, then why not seek the help of an expert Relationship Coach? I’ve helped hundreds of couples to rebuild intimacy, emotional connection and affection in their relationships, in a way that’s unique and tailored to each couple.
Simply contact me by clicking the button below, and let me help you achieve the joy and affection you seek in your relationship!
Deepening your connection with Nature
*Confidentiality is always protected. Therefore case examples are fictional and for illustrative purposes only.