Female Viagra and the Couple Relationship

The latest surge of media interest in the drug recently approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to treat Low Sexual Desire in women, has been phenomenal. On behalf of the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT), I had the opportunity to speak with several journalists about the drug Addyi (also known as Flibanserin), hailed as the New Female Viagra. This included TRT World (the English language news service of Turkish Radio and Television), the BBC World Service, and The Times Newspaper. Watch the videos below:-

Whilst it is fantastic that female sexual issues are receiving so much media attention and being taken seriously, and that women now have another option, as a Relationship Coach, I also wanted to highlight the importance of the underlying emotional and psychological causes of low sexual desire in women, within the context of the relationship.

As the discussion has surrounded the drug itself, rather than just the issue of low sexual desire in women, the media has naturally focussed on medicalising low sexual desire in women – otherwise given a medical diagnosis of Hypoactive Sexual Desire. As a qualified, Registered Nurse, I think it is very important that the public can access accurate diagnoses of medical problems, and have these conditions treated with appropriate and effective medication where necessary.

However, low sexual desire in women can have many, complex causes and cannot always be linked with a medical diagnosis. Very often there are issues within the couple relationship that need addressing. After all, a woman is not going to want to have sex with her partner if they are harbouring resentment from the relationship’s past, or if there is a general lack of communication, emotional intimacy, or physical touch. And if there are deeper issues in a womans’ past that have not been dealt with, this can have a significant impact on her sexual desire. See the below excerpt from The Times:-

Times Article on Female Viagra

And what of her partner? Very often the partner is left with feelings of rejection or hurt at the lack of physical, sexual contact, and whether the cause is due to an issue within the relationship or a medical problem, it is so important that this is discussed with an appropriately qualified and experienced Relationship Expert. Whether or not the issue of low sexual desire is a physical, psychological or emotional issue, it will certainly have an impact on the couple relationship.

I have seen so many couples with this issue, I have lost count. And I have yet to meet such a couple where there were no communication difficulties or wider relationship challenges either as a result of low sexual desire or as part of the root cause. I also encourage couples to consider their environment – what are the challenges at home, work, and outside of the relationship? How are they spending their time together? Do they spend most of their time behind computer screens, in the car, at work or running the children to and from school and all of the endless after-school clubs and activities? I saw one couple not so long ago who admitted that when they got home from work, the routine of chores was so ingrained that they barely even looked at each other. And if I had £1 for every couple that came to see me who communicate and argue by text, Whatsapp or Facebook Messenger, rather than face to face! How often do they venture outside into nature for a long walk, breathing fresh air together and reflecting on their respective days?

The good news is that there is so much that can be done to improve your relationship with the right guidance. I gain so much enjoyment and satisfaction in helping couples to understand their underlying concerns and issues, learn to reconnect, and then move forward into a joyful, well-balanced relationship. Usually, once these vital steps have been achieved, low sexual desire is no longer a feature in the relationship. If there are any remaining issues around low sexual desire, these can be addressed so much more effectively as the essential foundations for a nurturing and harmonious relationship have been built.

I am personally delighted that we are discussing sexual issues in the mainstream media and that this has encouraged some healthy debate. My hope is that it will encourage more couples to come forward and seek help from a Relationship Coach, rather than suffer in silence.

 

By | 2017-01-29T16:32:33+00:00 August 31st, 2015|Couples, Desire, Female Sexual Desire, Relationships|0 Comments

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