It’s not just what we say, but how we say it, that makes all the difference.
Your tone of voice, your facial expression, the words you use, are all part and parcel of your message.
Did you know that studies have shown that only 7% of communication is verbal?
The rest is delivered through certain vocal elements (38%) such as tone of voice, and non-verbal elements (55%) which includes facial expressions, gestures, posture.
It makes sense when we think that in Nature, living organisms, plants, animals, are communicating all the time in a variety of subtle ways, that are not even apparent to the human observer. In fact, all of Nature works together to initiate the most immense changes (such as seasons, weather), all without uttering a single word.
Even when couples try to communicate in a calm and measured way, I have seen things escalate from 0-100 in precisely 1 second due to a raised eyebrow here, a rolling of the eyes there.
Or the minute things get a little challenging, one partner will fold their arms or shift away.
You can get upset and frustrated with each other because you each might be giving the impression of wanting to listen, but you are actually blocking your partner’s message with your own non-verbal reaction.
In essence, you then make it about YOU, and not them.
So next time you are talking, be really aware of your facial expressions and body language.
They communicate far more than you realise.
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