Higher Ground

When you’re so enmeshed in your relationship problems, it can be really hard to see things clearly. You can feel overwhelmed by your emotions, unable to think straight, and unable to make sense of how you feel, let alone express that skilfully to your partner in a way that avoids upset and hurt feelings.

Sometimes, learning to see things from a higher ground can help you gain a fresh perspective on your relationship.

Try this exercise:-

  • Close your eyes and imagine yourself climbing a steep hill.
  • As you reach the summit, you pause, and take in the vast valley below.
  • As the cool wind blows around you, you notice how seeing things from up here feels refreshing.
  • You can see for miles. The distant sheep, the way the clouds form moving shadows over the land, the rivers below like silver ribbons.
  • You notice a small cottage below, in the valley, with a wisp of smoke coming from the chimney. This is your house, where you and your partner live.
  • Suddenly you can see all the obstacles around your house – all the crevices, uneven ground, rocks that could trip you up, the dark clouds of a distant storm on the horizon.
  • You notice that all of these challenges are natural, and therefore you do not fear them. You also notice that these challenges are largely similar to those experienced before. Only, now you have a map in your eye of where they all are, and where you and your partner sit in the landscape in relation to them.
  • Now you can go back down to the valley below and share what you have seen with your partner.
  • Decide together how you’ll manage these challenges, both as you sit together in your house, and also as you venture outside of the safe and warm confines of your house and navigate the more challenging terrain.

Repeat this exercise as often as you like, whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed. And even better, try to get outside and climb a hill or go for a walk whenever you feel like this – just being surrounded by Nature can help you feel refreshed and connected to something greater, which can also offer a new perspective on things.


If you’d like the guidance of an expert Relationship Coach to offer you an objective and fresh perspective on your relationship, my Oak Tree Coaching Package for couples could be just what you need!

Designed for couples who are in established, committed relationships, the Oak Tree Package is a 6-phase coaching programme which helps you and your partner to review and celebrate your relationship, honouring any significant milestones or challenges that you have faced, and imagine what the future might hold. Comprised of modules based on 3 roots and 3 branches essential to healthy relationships, you will learn how to create or renew your relationship vision, plant the seeds for the vision to grow roots, and how to tend to your relationship so that it can grow as healthy and strong as any Great Oak. And it can take place online or in person!

Click on the button below to contact me for more information.

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Deepening your connection with Nature 🙂

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