Is privacy in a relationship acceptable?

When you think about having an intimate relationship with someone, where you bare your soul and innermost secrets to your partner, and they to you, spending time with each other, and building your lives together, where does privacy fit in to that?

And should it?

If you were really in love, shouldn’t you be inseparable?

The truth is, whilst it’s important to be able to rely on your partner, to be authentic with them, and spend quality time with them, keeping your independence and individuality is equally important.

We all need privacy. Spending time alone, recharging our batteries and reflecting on things  is essential if we are to be able to maintain a sense of perspective, a sense of who we are, and effectively manage any relationship issues as they come up.

This might mean spending time on a hobby, going for a run, walking the dog, reading a book.

Some of us need more privacy than others. This can be problematic in relationships.

For example, if you need more time alone than your partner does, they might take your withdrawal as a sign of rejection. And if you spend too much time alone in your own head, you might over-think things or lose perspective.

If you need less privacy than your partner, they might experience you as needy, clingy, or suffocating. The problem there for your partner is that sometimes, not having enough time alone can actually feel as bad as loneliness.

It’s all about balance.

You need to be able to communicate with each other about what your individual needs for privacy are. It can help you to understanding that your partner’s need for privacy doesn’t mean they are necessarily rejecting you.  And if you feel your partner doesn’t give you enough time alone, through talking about that you might learn that they need a little more reassurance from you.

So ask yourself:-

  • Do you have privacy when you need it?
  • Do you think you spend too much time alone, trying to solve all your relationship problems in your head instead of with your partner?
  • If you felt more secure in your relationship, might you feel more relaxed about your partner taking some time alone?

If you want to explore this and other important needs in your relationship, why not contact me today for an informal discussion of how I can help you get your relationship needs met once and for all? Simply click on the button below to message me!


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