Nature has always been important to me, for as long as I remember. It has been part of my life since I was a child. As far as my Dad was concerned, being in Nature was non-negotiable. When I was a child, my 12-year-old self at times resented the 6 mile, dusty walks around Normandy in the baking sun, or the endless treks through the woods, or camping expeditions regardless of the torrential rain. But the truth is, it became part of me, and when I look back I am so grateful for the experiences. I have never felt more at home than when I am with Nature.
And yet there have been times as an adult when I have been so caught up in work; stuck inside hospital buildings for 13 hours a day as a clinical Nurse (even though I loved the work), trapped in corporate environments which felt soul-less, stuck behind a desk, stuck in traffic, stuck on crowded tubes and trains. And guess what? My health and relationships suffered as a result.
A big turning point came for me in 2008. I was stuck in a high-pressure, corporate job I hated. I was in a relationship that was failing no matter how I tried to save it. I was commuting 4 hours per day across London. I had no confidence and would often sit in tears on a Sunday evening, dreading the week ahead.
One August Bank Holiday, I was at a summer festival, sitting with friends on the grass, in a beautiful priory park, surrounded by trees and sunshine and Nature. Rather than really being able to immerse myself in the experience and enjoy it, I had been anxiously clock-watching, knowing I had to leave early to go home and finish an “important” report for the next day. If it wasn’t completed I would be in trouble. But I knew the report itself was an impossible task.
What had happened to me? I didn’t recognise myself. I was allowing myself to be treated badly in my relationship (and my job), and felt I had lost my self-respect in the process. Because I had lost sight of myself. I had become disconnected from Nature and lost myself as a result.
As I sat on the grass, feeling the sun on my face, surrounded by trees and folk music and people beating on drums, drinking real ale and cider, it hit me. Hard. I didn’t want this feeling to end. In one afternoon I had reconnected with that part of myself, and realised just how out of alignment I had become.
I fantasised about leaving my corporate job and living out my days in a tent somewhere in Nature – no running water, no conveniences, no responsibility, no pressure – happy. Connected to Nature. Real. Only worrying about what really mattered. Not that stupid f***ing report that no-one would read anyway.
So I decided. Enough was enough.
How I was starting to feel that day – hopeful, happy, relaxed, carefree, grateful, was how I wanted to stay. I wasn’t sure how, but I knew that Nature would be a large part of it.
We are all part of Nature, down to the atoms of our cells and beyond. We need to be immersed in Nature to feel at home. At home with Nature, and therefore ourselves. I believe that Nature holds all the answers we need to form and maintain healthy and harmonious relationships. As Nature ourselves we have that natural wisdom within us, which we access when we reconnect with Nature.
Nature is made up of a series of attractions held together in balance and harmony. What is a relationship if it isn’t formed from mutual attractions between people held together in balance and harmony? At least that is what we strive for.
I think that the reason that we struggle in relationships and within ourselves is because we are becoming so disconnected from Nature with modern life, that we start to forget that this is who and what we are. We view Nature as separate from us. So we eventually forget who we are. And in the process, we forget all of that wisdom that has evolved inside us on a cellular level.
All of the natural laws and principles in Nature that directly apply to relationships get forgotten; that it is natural to grow and transform and change, that communication can be subtle, complex and is vital for our existence, that conflict is Natural, unavoidable and even desirable as a natural consequence of growth and change. That opposites can be complimentary and exist alongside each other in harmony. That Nature knows how to heal.
I’d love to be able to say that I stayed at that festival and chucked the report in the bin, or dramatically walked out of my job like a scene from The Devil Wears Prada.
But I didn’t. Because that would have also been out of alignment for me as a person. I left early and finished that report, because I said I would.
Nobody read it.
But I did hand in my notice and leave that job very soon after. I did find the strength to pull myself away from that toxic relationship.
I retrained as a Sex and Relationship Therapist, inspired by my own relationship issues to help hundreds of other couples with theirs.
I started to reconnect with Nature again, often. Daily. I camped for the first time in years, I started running outside in Nature again, taking part in trail runs and marathons. I started playing folk music on the violin again.
That day at the festival changed my life. Nature reminded me of who I really was, and I started the process of coming back home to myself through Nature.
And I have been doing that every day since.
I don’t believe it is a coincidence that I ended up playing in my folk band, Celtic Krystal, on stage at that festival a few years later just yards from where I sat that day in August 2008. Or that I ended up living where I am today – in a house that backs on to that priory park, where every morning I look out of my bedroom window upon the spot where I sat, contemplating my situation and visualising a better future based around Nature and what was truly important to me.
That company I had worked for pretty much perished in the years to come, whilst I thrived.
And as a Relationship Coach, the effect has been even more powerful now that I incorporate Nature as an inspiration and guide throughout the core of my work, reaching out to even more people through my online products and coaching. I help couples to come back home to themselves and each other, reconnecting and strengthening their bond through a shared realisation that they are naturally connected and supported by Nature and its (their) inner wisdom, allowing it to guide them once again. With guidance from me to show them how.
My love affair with Nature continues to grow. It takes daily work, care, attention and commitment. I constantly strive to find new ways to connect with it and re-immerse myself in it. And I would be honoured to take you on my journey with me. Imparting my knowledge and skills and experience as a Relationship Coach, to directly help you with your relationship challenges, using Nature as an inspiration and guide.
Nature is our Relationship Coach.
Now I have found my way back to alignment through my relationship with Nature, I help you find your way back to each other through Nature.
But it is an ongoing journey that takes daily commitment. Just like maintaining a garden to keep it beautiful and nurtured and well cared for. A relationship, whether with Nature or with yourself or with your partner, is no different.
The reality is that we live in a modern society which has been transformed in so many ways by technology, much of which has had a profoundly positive impact on our lives. The reality is that many of us can’t or won’t want to go and live the rest of our days out in a a tent somewhere off-grid. Many of us who work in pressurised environments actually enjoy our work, corporate or otherwise. But the danger is that we become so consumed with it that we become more and more disconnected from Nature. And we become more and more disconnected from our partners as a result. We need balance. And Nature is the master of balance.
I pledge to do my daily practice with Nature, because I am all too aware that there is the constant threat of disconnection.
I have been in that place of disconnection. To be back there again is simply unacceptable to me.
Nature has become non-negotiable for me.
So my question for you is – are you coming with me?
Do you want a harmonious and joyful relationship, able to overcome your difficulties and challenges together through the wisdom of Nature?
Do you want me, an experienced Relationship Coach, to help you to feel connected enough within yourself to feel strong and self-assured, and in the best possible position from which to have a relationship?
Would you like to have a relationship that’s like an oak tree? Rooted, stable and connected, and yet ever growing and evolving?
And are you prepared to put in the daily practice needed to cultivate this?
If so I would be delighted to have you join me!
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Your Nature-Inspired Relationship Coach,