I need to share this with you, because I truly believe that if everyone understood this about relationships, it would make things so much easier for every single couple out there struggling in their relationship. It is vital for me to share this message because I have a need to reach out and help couples all over the world:-
- Each and every one of us is Nature, down to the very microscopic structures of our cells
- Relationships are therefore Nature
- We are becoming more and more disconnected from Nature
- This means that we are disconnected from ourselves and our relationships
- To reconnect with Nature is to reconnect with ourselves and our partner
- Nature can be our Relationship Coach!
Each and every one of us is Nature, down to the very microscopic structures of our cells.
As Nature ourselves, we need to be immersed in it. We need to be in our natural environment, to connect with the earth, the plants and trees and flowers, the animals, the weather and climate, the seasons. These are the things that we have evolved from. They are part of us.
A tree cannot exist without its environment. The environment cannot exist without the tree.
Did you know that research has shown that contact with Nature has significant health benefits? That is can significantly improve symptoms of depression and lift mood? That it can reduce stress levels? Of course it does! And that’s just mental health. Being outside and exercising in the natural environment has significant physical health benefits too. When we exercise, our brains create new connections. When animals move about in a sensory-rich environment they need to develop memories of where they are/have been. So the movement stimulates memory. This is much stronger if we move in Nature.
Relationships are therefore Nature.
Relationships are typically two people formed by two people, who are Nature, who come together and create a new life, which is the relationship itself (and often new life in the form of offspring). Relationships are alive. They are living, breathing life forces.
We are becoming more and more disconnected from Nature.
And yet we don’t think of ourselves as Nature. We seem to consider ourselves as separate from Nature – to the point where we have disconnected from it. We spend our lives with the best part of our days and weeks working in buildings surrounded by concrete and steel. Then we go home and spend more time inside the house. We connect with other people through laptops, tablets, smartphones, social media. We exercise in gyms, watching TV on a small screen as we pound the treadmill, or listening to our iPods. We are losing “green-belt” land in England to make way for housing, we live in built-up cities and towns. We relax on the weekends in shopping malls or going round B&Q looking for new bathroom suites, or visiting DFS to find a new sofa. And we continually repeat the cycle, over and over again, day-in, day-out, year after year.
This means that we are disconnected from ourselves and our relationships.
We lose sight of the things that really matter in life – our health, our relationships, our dreams. We stop spending quality time with our partner and fall into the trap of completing tasks together on a functional level.
Do we really see ourselves as functional machines, whose only role in life is to work to pay the bills, in the hope that we and our partners or spouses can stay healthy enough to enjoy a stable retirement before we die? No? Then why do we treat ourselves as though we do?
When I was working as a clinical nurse, it really upset me to see patients who had worked really hard all their lives to get to retirement, only to be diagnosed with a serious, even life-threatening, illness. It was as though their bodies had held out for long enough to get them through their working years, and had just given in the minute they stopped.
Treating ourselves in this way is just so un-natural!
We disconnect from our partners in so many different ways as a result, and the impact on our relationships can be huge:-
- We begin to know them a little less every day
- We make assumptions about them because we don’t really KNOW them
- Their feelings are a mystery to us
- We don’t ASK them
- Our relationships become rife with mis-understandings
- We can’t seem to resolve simple conflict without things escalating into an argument
- We stop communicating
- We hurt
Nature is beautiful, subtle, complex. But my message is really simple.
To connect with Nature is to connect with ourselves and our relationships. To disconnect from Nature is to disconnect from ourselves and our relationships.
Nature, of which we are all part of, contains attractions which hold it together and sustain it in balance. Just think about the conditions needed for a plant to grow – the right quantities of soil, light, water. What is a relationship if it is not an attraction between people which brings them together and holds them in balance?
Nature can be our Relationship Coach!
When you want help with something, you go to an Expert for help and guidance. Whether that’s a medical doctor or nurse, a car mechanic, a financial advisor, a personal trainer.
When you have an issue with your relationship, you might choose to come to me for guidance and support. That’s because I have the right skills, training and experience as a Psychosexual Therapist, Couples Counsellor, and Relationship Coach. You know that I have helped hundreds of couples and spent thousands of hours helping them to reconnect and grow closer, managing conflict in a healthy way and moving forward positively, able to empathise with and have compassion for each other.
But I actually believe that there is a Relationship Coach out there that is far wiser, far more experienced, and much more expert than me. And that’s Nature.
Nature is never out of balance. Whether we think about opposite colours (red berries and green leaves), each season having an opposite (spring and autumn, summer and winter), light and dark, birth and death, all works in harmony. We are naturally part of that. We breathe out carbon dioxide and breathe in oxygen in harmony with trees, which breathe in carbon dioxide and breathe out oxygen. When you think about nature’s intelligence, it is miraculous! So why would we not choose learn from it? Nature has natural laws and principles that have existed since time began. Principles such as:-
- Nature is always in balance and harmony
- Nature heals
- Conflict is a natural, unavoidable process
- Communication is vital for Nature to exist
- Nature is constantly moving/transforming/evolving
Just as there are natural laws in nature, there are corresponding natural principles in harmonious relationships. My mission on this earth is to show you that by understanding and using the principles of nature, you can begin to honour and make the most of your attractions to each other, to hold your relationship in balance, using nature as your guide. Reconnecting with nature in this way as a couple will give you a rooted, solid foundation for your relationship. And if we really learn to tune in to Nature and our partner every day, we can realise that although relationships need daily attention and maintenance, they can be joyful and harmonious.
I want to combine my skills and expertise as a Relationship Coach with those of Nature, to help you to learn from Nature, to help you to reconnect with Nature, and therefore connect more deeply with your partner, so that you can have happier, healthier, more natural lives and relationships!
Learning from Nature is an ancient practice. Shamanism stems from nature. Shamanic practices tap into the power that the earth has to offer and many ancient indigenous teachings are derived from the simplistic truths of nature. Now, I would not dream of insulting these ancient or indigenous leaders by proclaiming myself as a shaman. I only want to say that the concept of Nature being the inspiration and guide for life and relationships is something that I believe on a soul-level.
As a Nature-inspired Relationship Coach, this is my manifesto, and my commitment to you.
So if you would like me to guide you through your relationship ups and downs, to give you the support you need to make your relationship thrive, sign up for my newsletter which is full of helpful information and advice. You can also download my FREE Communication Guide for Couples or my Four Seasons Relationship Course, a course delivered over 4 modules, providing you with the foundations for reconnecting with your partner using the four seasons of Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter as a guide. And subscribe to my Facebook Livestreams to make sure you are notified every time I go live, so that you can interact with me and ask me all of your relationship questions.
If there are any particular areas of advice or guidance in relationships that you would like me to cover, just get in touch and let me know!
Until then, take care, and remember – just like a beautiful garden, you need to tend to and maintain your relationship to watch it thrive!
P.S: COMING SOON: For those of you who feel you would benefit from more in-depth expert guidance, to learn the exact tools and techniques needed for resolving conflict in an effective and loving way, I am soon to release my BRAND NEW Compassionate Conflict for Couples course. This is a 4 week programme designed to guide you and your partner through conflict in a calm, effective and loving way, so that you can go from hurt, frustration and blame, to FINALLY resolving conflict compassionately, positively, and feeling heard – without feeling like you have both lost a battle. I will be posting more information soon but in the meantime, please don’t hesitate to get in touch for more information. And the sooner the better because there is a SPECIAL BONUS for the first 10 people to sign up for the course! To make sure you don’t miss out, email me: firstname.lastname@example.org, or send me a PM on Facebook.