The Fire Within

Tomorrow, the 5th November, many of us will celebrate bonfire night by lighting bonfires and fireworks.

We seem to love fire. Have you ever sat around a fire and watched the flames, mesmerised, as though in a trance? Fire seems to speak to something very primitive in us. I actually believe that one of the reasons we are so drawn to the TV, or the iPad or iPhone screen, is that on some level it reminds us of the fire our ancestors would sit around hundreds of thousands of years ago.

But nothing can beat the real thing!

I remember how last year, I was away on a weekend course all about reconnecting with Nature, where a group of us lit a fire using more traditional methods – a fire bow and kindling. Standing around in the rain, it took 3 of us and a lot of time and patience. Vigorously twisting the fire bow, we had to be coordinated, while one of us blew on the small sparks that were produced. As the steady wisp of smoke gradually became a small flame, a caught the kindling, and we all cheered as the fire took hold. Delicately, we added more kindling until we were all warmly standing around a big fire. We all felt proud of ourselves, because it hadn’t been easy, and we appreciated the warmth of the fire all the more because of that. We had to continue to tend to the fire of course, to stop it going out. But once lit, that was the easy part. It was lighting it in the first place that had been more difficult.

The passion inside you and in your relationship is like a fire – and if not tended to, it can fade until it seems to have been extinguished. When that happens in relationship, perhaps it’s because you feel you’re too tired to have a passionate relationship, or don’t have time, or have too many demands on you, or you’re not feeling as connected with your partner as you once were?

Whatever the reasons, once that fire goes out, it can be hard to re-light. It takes time, patience, sometimes a shared effort with your partner. But once re-lit, you and your partner can begin to appreciate its warmth again, and bask in the joint effort you made, even though it was difficult at times.

If you feel the fire of passion has dwindled in your relationship, it can also be easy to solely blame external factors or even your partner for the lack of passion that you feel. So ask yourself whether the issue could also lie within you. Do you feel sexually connected to your own body? How do you feel about your sexuality? How do you see yourself sexually? And passion is not just about sexuality. You can feel passionate in many areas of your life. So also ask yourself, is the issue just with your relationship or do you also struggle to feel passionate in any other areas of your life?

Asking yourself these questions is the first step towards rekindling that spark of passion that drew you towards your partner in the first place.

If you are struggling to re-ignite the passion in your relationship, then my Oak Tree Coaching Package for Couples could be exactly what you need!  Designed for couples who are in established, committed relationships, the Oak Tree Package is a 6-phase coaching programme which helps you and your partner to review and celebrate your relationship, honouring any significant milestones or challenges that you have faced, and imagine what the future might hold. Comprised of modules based on 3 roots and 3 branches essential to healthy relationships, you will learn how to create or renew your relationship vision, plant the seeds for the vision to grow roots, and how to tend to your relationship so that it can grow as healthy and strong as any Great Oak. And it can take place online or in person!

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Deepening your connection with Nature 🙂


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