But we don’t always appreciate the gifts we are given – those from Nature or those from our relationship. Here’s why:-
- To be able to appreciate these gifts, we must be able to receive them.
- Sometimes, we are simply unable to receive.
This could be for any number of reasons; distraction, fear, grief, stress, an inability to see a wider perspective, being consumed by our problems, the list is endless. Our inability to receive can also sometimes come from our past, from failed relationships or childhood wounds.
An inability to receive is something that comes up so often in relationships. So many couples complain about feeling a lack of appreciation from their partner. Some are so consumed by the negatives that they are unable to acknowledge the positives in their relationship.
This inability to receive from your partner can be played out in a number of ways. For example, I have worked with couples where:-
- One partner is closed off and so doesn’t notice when their partner does something special for them.
- One partner cannot accept their partner’s compliments.
- Others refuse the gift of open, honest communication.
- Some refuse the gift of conflict, seeing it is something adversarial rather than something that can enable them and their partner to grow closer than ever before.
To be able to receive these gifts, you need to be able to recognise them as gifts in the first place.
Your partner’s feelings can sometimes be difficult to receive, particularly if they seem negative. But if you view them as an attempt by your partner to connect, and an opportunity to learn more about them, they can transform into a gift. And when your partner senses that, they will feel heard, loved and cared for.
Sometimes, the biggest gift you can give to your partner is being willing and able to receive the gifts they give you.
So next time you are on your journey to work, look out of the window, and notice the gifts of nature all around you. Look at the sky, the fields, the birds, the colours. Allow yourself to be thankful for these.
And when you get home, notice the gifts your partner gives you – the meal they prepared, the kiss hello, the fact they asked you how your day was. The listening ear. Their time. The fact that they want you to know how they feel.
Once you can appreciate your partner’s gifts, you can feel more able to give them gifts yourself.
Sometimes it can be hard to recognise each-other’s feelings as gifts, because the way we communicate with our partners can lead to them feeling attacked and becoming defensive. But it doesn’t have to be that way! If you would like my guidance on how to communicate more effectively with your partner, then my Compassionate Conflict for Couples Course is perfect for you! Delivered over 4 weeks form the comfort of your own home, Compassionate Conflict for Couples is the perfect way for you to start to manage conflict in a loving and respectful way, giving you both the core communication skills and principles needed to manage conflict without it escalating into an argument.
Click on the link below for more information.
Deepening your connection with Nature 🙂