Have you heard of the legendary Perfect Partner? The mythical being whom you dreamt about as a child?
The knight in shining armour, who would sweep you off your feet?
Or perhaps you dreamt of being the knight, rescuing the princess or prince and sweeping them off their feet, leaving them ever-grateful and admiring of you?
Have you ever met them in real life?
And if so, did you skip off into the sunset together to live out the rest of your lives in perfect bliss?
We grow up with a lot of romantic ideals around relationships, given to us by fairytales and books, songs and music, films and poetry.
We have an image in our minds of the Perfect Relationship.
And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
But we grow up and realise that life just doesn’t always work that way. Relationships don’t always work that way.
So we have to adjust our expectations.
We realise that none of us are perfect.
We know this logically.
But that doesn’t always stop us from having unrealistic expectations.
In relationships, these unrealistic expectations are often played out like this:-
“I shouldn’t have to explain!”
“You should just know!”
“It shouldn’t feel like hard work”
And so on.
“Shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” abound.
What happens is that we project our idea of our Perfect Partner onto our real partner. We do this without them knowing it. And in most cases without being aware of doing this ourselves.
And when they don’t comply with that Perfect Partner image, we become bitterly disappointed.
And because we don’t realise what’s happening, we start to question the whole relationship.
It doesn’t occur to us that perhaps our partner has a different set of ideals to us. Or that perhaps they are doing the same thing, and becoming disappointed when we don’t match their expectations.
So how do we overcome this? How to we “get real”.
The solution is actually quite simple. Implement the following steps, in this exact order:-
- Ask your partner what’s important to them in your relationship.
- Tell your partner what’s important to you in your relationship.
Always seek to understand your partner first, before asking them to understand you. Give before taking.
I’m not suggesting for a moment that we can’t dream, that we can’t be swept off our feet by our twin flame, our soul connection, and have the most amazing, intuitive, joyful relationships possible. In fact I would say that that’s entirely possible!
But I’m also saying that even the most beautiful plant need watering, nurturing, attention.
That everything that’s worth having takes time and effort.
It doesn’t just happen by magic.
And it starts with, is cultivated with, and maintained by, effective communication.
Is your relationship not what you hoped it would be? Do you feel disappointed with the direction it’s taken? Did you have big dreams for you and your partner, only to find yourselves stuck in a rut?
If you need help to set and cultivate your own relationship vision, why not contact me today to ask about my bespoke Relationship Coaching packages? Working with me 1:1, you and your partner can dream up your vision together, and map out the exact steps you need to take in your journey to help get you there, with my guidance every step of the way! Simply contact me by clicking the button below, and let your journey begin!
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