Sometimes, we mistake the familiar with the secure. Just because you become used to the environment around you, doesn’t mean it’s the optimal environment. It doesn’t even mean it’s a healthy environment!
The same can be said of relationships.
I have known many couples stay in situations that are far less than satisfactory in their relationships, in favour of what is familiar. These couples might decide not to try new experiences together, or move house, or go somewhere different on holiday, even though they really want to. Just in case something backfires.
Or it might mean that they won’t really apply themselves to the work that is really needed to bring them closer together – deeper, compassionate communication, or making time for intimacy.
Because change can be scary.
Pushing the boundaries of what’s familiar can take you into unknown territory.
And even though you know, for example, that open and honest communication might be exactly what’s needed to heal your relationship, you might also fear what it will bring up. That it will rock the boat.
So you choose not to go there.
You might understand the theory and logic of the importance of good communication and open, honest dialogue. But that’s just where it stays – in the theory.
So somehow you never quite seem to find the time to work on your relationship. Because you are both so tired, so busy, and not in the right frame of mind…….and so on.
Ever hear the term “better the devil you know”? That often comes from fear!
But Nature shows us that even humpback whales – who spend most of their time in the water in the very element that they are made for – breach every so often!
They seem to catapult their entire bodies out into the air, upside down before crashing back down on the surface of the water, disturbing the apparent calm and peace, and familiarity of having always been under water – and they almost look ecstatic whilst doing so!
So my message to you today is to find a healthy way to breach. Change your environment by going out into Nature, book that holiday you’ve been putting off, join that gym or go for that run.
Or really make the time to talk to your partner. See what happens.
And embrace the unknown effects of that breach as a natural consequence of pushing your own boundary.
If you would like my help with moving into the unknown territory that communication might bring, why not download my Communication Guide for Couples? It’s completely free and contains the essential tips, techniques and skills you need to begin the journey of compassionate communication. Click on the button below now to claim your copy.