During Valentines week, couples everywhere start thinking about what they can buy their partner as a gift, to show how much they care. Cards, chocolates, flowers, romantic meals, lingerie. But do you want to know the biggest gift you can give your partner? It’s this: positive attention. This week I’ll be showing you exactly how to give your partner positive attention, so that Valentines Day can have an extra-special meaning for you this year.
I’ve spoken a lot recently about common relationship issues that couples who see me for Relationship Coaching complain about; not being listened to, not being honest with each-other about their feelings, being defensive, witholding and withdrawing, and not prioritising each-other.
In fact, when I ask couples to list all of the the things in their relationship they’re not happy with, they find this really easy. But when I ask them to list all the things they want instead, what they want to be different in the relationship, they either struggle to verbalise this, or revert back to talking about what they don’t want.
It seems that it’s much easier to focus on what’s wrong with your relationship, than it is to focus on what you actually want it to be like.
But always focusing on the negatives in your relationship is not only damaging to you and your partner, but it means that you’re more likely to yield negativity. Why? Because of this natural law:-
Where you look/focus (and therefore aim), is where you go.
The great news is, by following this natural law the reverse is also true!
So, by focusing on what you do want instead of everything that’s wrong with your partner/the relationship, you can yield positive results, and a happier relationship!
So this Valentines week, instead of focusing on relationship problems, I’m going to set you 3 simple challenges this week, focusing on showing positive ways you can spend time with your partner, demonstrating exactly what you appreciate about them and showing them positive attention.
Write a poem for your partner, focusing on all their positive qualities and why they are so special to you. Give it to them in an envelope, sealed with a kiss ;).
Want to make sure you don’t miss out on the next 2 challenges? Sign up to my Relationship Coaching Newsletter by clicking the button below, and they will be delivered straight to your inbox!
Deepening your connection with Nature