“How can I get my girlfriend to make the first move in bed?”

I was recently asked this question for online magazine The Question. There are so many factors that can influence whether or not your girlfriend initiates sex. It’s important to understand what it is that’s stopping her. Does she lack confidence? Does she fear rejection? Or is it that she thinks for some reason it is [...]

Listen up! How to get your partner to hear you.

In the last two posts, I wrote about one of the most common complaints that couples have when they come to see me for Relationship Coaching - not feeling heard - and the reasons why this happens (having our own perspectives, making assumptions, mis-interpreting). If you haven't already, read these blogs now by clicking the links [...]

This is why your partner doesn’t listen!

In the last blog post, I talked about one of the most common complaints that couples have about each other, when they come to see me for Relationship Coaching - feeling unheard. I also gave a series of questions for you to reflect on, to evaluate how both you and your partner listen to each [...]

Tired of not being listened to?

Are you tired of not being listened to by your partner? Does your partner accuse you of not listening to them? If so, you won't be surprised to learn that feeling unheard is one of the most common complaints that couples have about each other, when they come to see me for Relationship Coaching. Typical phrases [...]

Can’t see the wood for the trees?

Do you and your partner argue or bicker over seemingly small things? Do you sometimes argue and then afterwards feel it was pointless? That it didn't get you anywhere? It could mean that you've lost perspective on your relationship. We can get so stuck in our own individual bubbles sometimes, that we find ourselves trying to micro-manage [...]

Sew and you will reap!

As I was in my Personal Training session this morning, muscles burning from lactic acid, focused on my current "big goal" of achieving a 100kg deadlift, I was thinking about how much commitment our big goals require. When I train for a marathon, the regime is relentless, and impossible without the commitment. Something we desire [...]

Do you feel “at home” in your relationship?

They say moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do in life. Having moved house this weekend, I have to say I agree! At times like this, the strain on a relationship can definitely be amplified. The sheer amount of "stuff" accumulated over the years that need to be sorted through, [...]

Do you have the affection you desire in your relationship?

Ask yourself that question. Ask your partner the same thing. What did you discover? I see so many couples who complain that they don't have the affection they want in their relationship. The interesting thing, however, is that many couples actually disagree on the amount and quality of affection they think they have in the [...]

How do you cope with pressure in your relationship?

At a time of year when flooding is rife, I've been thinking about how the build-up of pressure in relationships can have very similar consequences. Couples leave issues to build up, not attending to their own feelings such as resentment, frustration, hurt, anger, and not communicating these with each-other. When this happens, the pressure builds [...]